By: Helio Luti
I keep a tiny mental track of what everyone eats. I listen to their plans for lunch, I observe how and what they are eating. I keep track of where everyone sits, and I always strategically try to find the safest seat. I also have a mental list of places that are not allowed. No vegan restaurants, no Thai food, no Chick Fil-A. I memorize what foods have what ingredients, and I have memorized what certain wrappers look like. The deep purple and white criss-cross of Smuckers, the red and yellow of Ritz sandwich cookies, the gold and blue of Butterfingers. I’ve started to do this subconsciously now. I do this every single day, and every single meal. This is because it is the only way to keep me safe. Every single time I eat, I put my life into someone’s hands.
The dramatic rendition of this above seems so trivial when I explain it to others. Ever since I was a kid, I have been extremely allergic to Peanuts. And Nuts. And Shellfish. And Fish. Allergies have become so normalized around me. People having seasonal allergies, and feeling a little funny when they pet a cat. There are peanut-free zones in schools, and some elementary schools do not allow nuts at all. Yet, I still often struggle navigating a world that does understand the complexities of having food allergies. Especially extreme ones.
I can not be in the same room as peanuts. I still have an airborne allergy that most children grow out of. It often comes up as a ridiculous idea because other people have not seen such a case. In one of my classes, my professor questioned if my condition was real. I had a moment of, do I really attend UCLA? Why am I getting an email that people in the department do not believe that I have an airborne allergy because they read a website article? I had to call my allergist and ask if they could write a note. My professor’s asking the validity of my condition. Please keep in mind, I was asked if I had dietary restrictions first. I do not like bringing up how dangerous it is to me into every room I walk into. I just wait until it becomes necessary to remark.
In the last year, I have gone into anaphylaxis about five times. Anaphylaxis is a life-threatening condition. Basically, if I get into contact with an allergen my throat could swell up causing lack of oxygen which leads to death. It’s awful, there’s vomiting and itching and this immediate sense that this is it. This is the end. I used to think that was such a dramatic thought, and I was just panicking but apparently it's a real symptom. The symptom is called “a sense of impending doom.”To counteract this, I have to carry an Epipen which is a needle full of epinephrine to slow down the reaction. Then I have to be taken to the hospital. Every single time.
Each and every single time I went anaphylactic, it was completely out of my control. A dining hall handed me the wrong muffin. Someone left peanut butter on the mouse trap. Someone put fish on the cutting board. The same fork was used to give me rice and mole. It is not like I am not being careful and reading every single label. I scour ingredients before I eat anything. I kindly ask people to put food away. I have realized it is a matter of desensitization to the subject.
People around me are incredibly used to allergies. So, they no longer take them seriously. It seems like an easy fix, but foods hide everywhere. The new use of almond flour, fish oil in vitamins, frying with peanut oil, and having secret ingredients that have touched other allergens. Everyone knows what allergies are, but they do not understand the mistake of receiving almond milk instead of oat. I hope that people are no longer just aware, but actually listen when someone makes a food request. The consequences could be deadly.
Originally Posted: 14 September 2023